Introducing: Good Shit Daily
Hello, Bad Yogis, I’m Laura. I am a fellow bad yogi, anxiety fighter, mom, vegan and proud empath. Throughout 2015 my anxiety and depression took over my life, and it helped to ruin my relationship with the love of my life and landed me in a psychiatric hospital for a few days in October. Out of all this loss, all the heartbreak and fear, Good Shit Daily was born. I decided to start listing all the good things that happened to me each day, everyday, no matter what. It’s helping me on my journey to be grateful and focus on what is instead of what was. Good Shit Daily is also a place to be open about my feelings and encourage others to be open with theirs as well. Vulnerability is hard, y’all, but none of us are alone.
There was a lot of good that happened this week, but also a lot of darkness. I have been battling severe heartbreak the last few months, and dragging around 140 pounds of anxiety under that makes daily life a struggle. (Shout out to those of you who can leave the house mascara intact. Y’all are heroes.) This week I was fighting going back to work after a two week hiatus. Last Sunday night I was pumped for life, ready to take on the week. I got comfy, settled in for bed. Before I knew it the clock read 5am and I was still wide awake, sick and anxious. Crushed, I called into work. Tuesday I was back at it, doing what I needed to do (however that looked). That was a major victory.
Wednesday morning came and I couldn’t get out of bed. My stomach felt like — well, it was bad. Unspeakably bad. I spent the next three days in bed (read: my couch), trying to fight anxiety by getting out of the house whenever I could. I worked on projects and reached out to friends, but everything felt terrible. Friday night was the height of it all when I stumbled upon a post from my favorite bar/restaurant giving some love to my ex’s photo. Just the post (which was just of his drink on the bar) made me sink into deep sadness. I cried for hours. I started watching How I Met Your Mother for the 10th time. I got sicker. It happens. All this heartache and life stress and anxiety got me to this place.
So, what next?
Despite how my body felt this weekend, I went for a 6.7 mile walk around my beautiful city. I took some self portraits and experimented with light. I did some yoga, even if I sobbed through the entire flow. I had out-loud conversations with myself about what self care means. I gave myself permission to do whatever the hell I wanted and to feel however the hell I wanted. Then I went to the grocery store and planned to cook something delicious for myself. Because I fucking could.
That’s some good shit.
Random good shit: I hosted a giveaway on my Instagram recently with a local (to me) bracelet maker. She sent me the bracelet she donated for the giveaway, and in addition another one for me with a note attached. I felt honored and grateful. I can’t wait to pay that good shit forward.
What good shit happened to you this week?