How I Learned to Trust the Future
When I was younger, I was obsessed with the future. I would daydream, dreaming of all the things that could happen. Of how different things would be then.
As a consequence, I would rarely enjoy the current moment, even though that was often equally great as the future I dreamt of.
Along with dreaming about the future, I would spend hours planning the future.
What are we going to do later today? Next month? A year from now? Ten years from now?
I (thought I) had it all figured out. I had the plan set. Everything was clear. I knew were I was headed and I knew how to get there.
And still, I’d spend more time in that future, than in my daily life. My life was flying by, and I didn’t realize it, as I was always looking towards the future.
The things that I was excited for happened, without me really enjoying them, as I was already thinking about the next thing.
And the most difficult part of this, was that I didn’t realize any of this, till it changed.
Several years ago, I was completely going overboard.
I was obsessing over my future, my plan wasn’t working out. I couldn’t see how all the different pieces I had already could possibly fit together.
And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, I knew. I could see it all. And I wrote down a full page, containing the plan. The future plan. Putting my thoughts on paper, I could finally sleep.
And that was all, I put that piece of paper inside a book, and never thought about it again.
Years went by. A lot of things changed. I ended a four year long relationship. I finished the first two years of my BA degree and moved to another country to do the last year as an exchange student.
And it wasn’t till I was going through my things before moving back home, after a year abroad, that I found that letter. The letter I had completely forgotten about.
The letter, that had stayed inside that book for all those years, and moved with me, without me knowing, a few times.
A piece of paper fell out of one of my books. I picked the letter up, unfolded it and saw, to my surprise, what it was.
And I started reading. And when I finished it, I realized.
There was nothing on that piece of paper that I still planned to do in my future.
It was all different.
Or all, but one thing. The only thing that still fitted, was that I was going to be a yoga teacher.
Everything else was so far from what I wanted to do.
It was then when I realized it. The future that I saw today was never going to happen.
And I wouldn’t want it to be exactly like that.
Because the future me, would see the future in some different way.
We are always growing, always changing.
And it is only by enjoying today and realizing how great your life is right now, that you can create the future you want, for yourself.
I will keep my hopes and dreams. I will keep striving forward.
And at the same time, I will remember, that the me of today is different from the me of yesterday, and the me of tomorrow.
I am always changing.
That is the beauty of it.
I will keep going. Doing my best. Being grateful.
And slowly, I will see what tomorrow and next week and next month will be like.
And I’ll see that sometimes the future will be very different from what I was expecting.
And if I’m lucky, that difference, will make it even more amazing.
“We’re all travelling through time together, everyday of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride.”
Over to you! What do you do when you find yourself future tripping too much?