It is Tuesday morning in the last week of my yoga teacher training. I am about to teach my first class. It is my final exam, an hour class with five students. And I am extremely nervous. We had already practiced a lot of teaching the week before and I had already taught my sequence to my friend without any trouble, but now it was time for the main thing! I had been good until the night before, where I started doubting my sequence, doubting my skills, doubting basically everything I could doubt. And my anxiety came as a surprise to me, as I really thought I knew what I was doing.
So yes, I was stressed, I was very unsure on basically everything I had decided and could see all the things I could do wrong in my mind. The only thing I could possibly do to deal with this stress was to go to sleep super early and show up to the yoga hall early in the morning on my teaching day. Because that is the thing with worries and stress, they aren´t really gonna help you prepare yourself.
So I showed up before everybody else, with the feeling of unease, feeling of anxiety, feeling of doubt. But I kept taking deep breaths. I started setting up the mats for my students and myself. And suddenly this peacefulness came over me. Because the thing is I am a teacher. I have always been and always will be a teacher. And I knew that this would be – a not so easy but – an extremely important step in my path, following my purpose, of teaching as many people as possible to be a better version of themselves. To do so I would need to face my own fears, to overcome my doubts and thereby become a better version of myself.
So with this peacefulness – but not get me wrong, still a bunch of insecurity for the first ten minutes – I taught my class. I got my feedback, of course a bunch of things I need to work on, understandable as at this point my teacher experience covered about a week in total, with only one hour having more than one student. But I was happy. Extremely happy. I was taking steps into the correct direction.
I´m still on my first steps here, having realized that my 200 hour YTT is only a tiny part – but a very important part – of my yoga journey. Now I will keep going. I will face my fears as I know there are many more to come. I will find my own voice, find my own path and fulfil my purpose.
Because that is why I am here.
So if you think that you want to teach yoga.
If you think teaching yoga is extremely scary.
If you maybe someday possibly could maybe think about teaching yoga one day.
This one is dedicated to you.
Do you see yourself becoming a yoga teacher? And if you already are – how was your first teaching experience?