It’s sort of a regular Wednesday – till I get THE package. Full of excitement, I opened it, knowing it would be the book I agreed to review. Being on the run but also super curious, I managed to swift through the pages, just to get a first impression. And oh my, dread just started rising inside of me. The book contains exercises to try out! But, that immediate feeling of being put out of my comfort zone made me also think ‘yep, this book might be just for me’. As soon as I got the time, I started reading – and doing the exercises!

Living An Orgasmic Life

So, you might be asking yourself “What can I expect from Living an Orgasmic Life by Xanet Pailet?”

In this book, readers will find fact and experience-based information paired with advice on practical tools and practices to apply the gained knowledge to. And yes, it’s all about awareness, pleasure and sex.

As a Bad Yogi, you probably have heard of Tantra before. Personally, what first comes to my mind when I hear Tantra – regarding sex that is – is about experiencing sensual and passionate moments with another person in a safe and respectful setting. In that sense, one could say this book is a nudge to begin – or continue – one’s journey towards tantric sexual experiences when one’s sexuality is currently caught in a place of discomfort, fear, shame, pain or trauma.

Though I’d like to point out that there is no one “if I have experienced X” or “if I feel X about my sexuality” that’ll give a clear “grab this book and read it” sign. As mentioned above, I was hooked by feeling unsure of doing those exercises. Still, I gave it a go. I considered that my own personal sign to read this book with an open mind. But for you it could be any other thing. For example, a piece of information, a memory or an experience Xanet Pailet shares.

This book asks you to take a closer look at your sexuality and everything that’s linked to it. And it does so in an understanding and fun manner.

To me, Xanet Pailet’s writing style is easy to follow and quickly I was pulled into the book. The author brings up a lot of information and several concepts, which all is linked to understanding sexuality in some way. She does so in a very balanced way and gives the options to do further reading, whenever she provides an overview rather than a deep dive into an aspect.

Also, when new information is introduced, it’s followed by examples from Pailet’s own experiences or from her clients. Hence, the book holds plenty of opportunities to recognize yourself and your experiences. This creates an intimate and very personal atmosphere. Maybe not quite as if you’d be talking to a good friend, but not a total stranger either.

Imagine Xanet Pailet as your guide for a first two-day workshop to exploring your sexuality and whatever thoughts and emotions you have regarding it. As would be the case in such a setting, you’ll be guided through the content as well.

What I was curious about, though: would Xanet Pailet manage to keep the book gender neutral? Unfortunately, I would have wished for more gender-neutral writing, or rather gender neutral explaining of the issues and experiences. Speaking about experiences of sex and sexuality seems such an important topic, that I hoped this book would address everyone, no matter their gender or how they identify. In fact, the book seems to be addressing mostly women. Though I understand for what reasons women might be the aimed at readers. I believe this book should be read by as many different people as possible. How else will a versatile discourse be possible? How  will we learn of the variety that sexuality holds? And how else will we see its beauty and freedom and shed fears, shame and pain?

The Bottom Line

Living an Orgasmic Live brings attention to many aspects that can greatly affect sexuality. As a reader, one is encouraged to get curious and explorative regarding one’s sexuality. Paired with well-designed exercises, this book might just give you some new insight of what your sexuality is shaped by. I’ll for sure spend some more time on all those exercises 😉

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