Wait – shouldn’t yoga and meditation “clear my mind?”
If you’ve been with the Bad Yogi community for a while now, you know the community is anything but your stereotypical yogis. And if you’ve been practicing yoga for some time now, you know darn well that every practice is different and is definitely not “blissful” all the time. The reality is that no matter how many times we’ve practiced or how advanced you may be, thoughts will continue to come in and out of our heads during practice. Let me share with you some of my thoughts during a recent class. Times are approximate, and thoughts will be surrounded with asterisks and italicized. And don’t worry, I won’t give a minute-by-minute replay…just the main ones I remembered.
5:00pm: Class starts. Teacher tailors the class to individuals. It’s pretty routine that she goes around the room and she asks us what she can do for us. I know this, but of course I never come prepared.
5:03pm: “Donna, what can I do for you today?”
Me: “Umm, anything is good for today.”
Teacher: “Hmm…what about inversions? What are you working on?”
Me: *Oh no. Should I say handstand? Nah too hard.* “Umm, I can only do wheel pose.”
Teacher: “Only??” Class giggles.
Me: *OMG people probably think I’m a showoff now.*
Teacher: “Okay we can do that. And if it doesn’t happen today, it doesn’t happen.”
Me: *Whew. I don’t even know if I feel like doing inversions right now.*
5:10pm: *I start my new job tomorrow. I wonder if she can feel my anxiety.*
5:15pm: Somewhere between doing child’s pose and downward facing dog… *My stomach is HUGE. Why is it so hard to be a woman?*
5:20pm: *Why are my warrior poses always corrected?! Since 2008. These are my favorite poses. Oh well, adjustments are not a bad thing.*
5:25pm: *This shirt always smells weird, even when I don’t use it for exercise. Why do I keep using it?!*
5:27pm: In downward facing dog again… *OMG why did I wear these leggings? It feels like it’s sliding down. I hope I’m not flashing anyone. Ugh focus, fix your feet.*
5:35pm: *Wait child’s pose already?? That can’t be right, what about the inversions??*
5:37pm: *Ohh yass, bridge pose! That means I can try to do my wheel with this big stomach.”
5:39pm: Teacher watches me do wheel. No corrections. She tells me to do it three times. *Three times?! I’ve never done it three times in a row. Okay here goes nothing…let me just get up…okay maybe let me just stay in bridge for a few seconds. I’m breathing hard.* Teacher walks away.
5:41pm: I look over to where my teacher is (still on my second bridge) and I saw her assisting another student doing plow pose. *Oh I only did that once, which wasn’t bad but she (the teacher) made me do it. I was probably red in the face because I didn’t breathe. Okay, now get up to wheel. Whoa! I did it.*
5:45pm: Coming down from my third wheel. Teacher comes over and asks if I did three and I nod. *Wow, that was kind of exhilarating! I should do more wheels more often.*
5:50pm until class ended at 6:00pm: *Savasana yes, my favorite!*
*Donna why are you scrunching your face?*
*That peppermint essential oil smelled good.*
*Why do I always roll on my right side…it’s not my favorite side because I sleep on my left side most of the time.*
*Should I go to the gym today too? This stomach needs to go.*
*What’s for dinner?*
*What time should I leave for work tomorrow?*
*This class was awesome as always…do I really need to go home right now?!*
I should make this into a series. But then sometimes I really do actually forget about the outside stuff, and my mind isn’t as chaotic. What are some of the things that come to your head while practicing? Share your thoughts below!