Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) kind of suck. I’m being entirely serious — being apart from someone you love for extended periods of time must be some kind of masochist urge. Having been in an LDR for the past six months, I can fully attest to how hard it is. You have to communicate, set up times to be together even when you can’t be, and figure out how to keep “the spark” going. But if I had to give it a full review, LDRs are worth it if you love someone, and you learn very quickly how much it’s worth to you.
Probably the most important thing I’ve learned from being an in LDR is that you have to be open.
There’s no space for lying or saying things you don’t mean. The other person isn’t an open book. They won’t necessarily read between the lines of what you write in a text or say in a Skype chat. If you don’t want to say the truth, why are you with someone at all? I admit, it can hard to be truthful, being vulnerable is frightening, but I promise in my experience – it’s worth it.
You might not ever find that perfect balance of communication that suits you both.
Some people like texting all day, and others prefer less. You and your partner might be on the same page, but I found that is rarely the case. Like I said, it’s about being open. If you feel ignored, then you need to say so. There’s only one reason you’re with this other person and it’s because you love them. That doesn’t mean everything will be perfect all or even most of the time. Everyone communicates differently, and you might not ever reach equilibrium. That’s okay.
Labels don’t matter. What matters is that you and your partner are happy.
It’s easy to want to be that perfect couple in the rom-com. I admit to sometimes comparing my own LDR with the one from Sleepless in Seattle, and it coming up short. But no relationship is exactly like any other. As long as you’re happy, that is what matters. Whatever you decide to call your relationship (if you decide to call it anything at all), I think that it becomes evident how much you love someone. If you do love them, then distance can be a necessary evil.
For my own LDR, sometimes it feels like distance is this horrid festering thing that I want to tear apart. Other days, it feels like my partner is right beside me despite a thousand kilometres between us. What matters in the end is that we’re happy, that together we both smile more and go to bed knowing that there’s someone else in this world that loves us just as much as we love them.
What experiences with LDRs do you have, yogis? Any tips to share?