Some mornings feel extra crappy. I hate my alarm when it wakes me up. I often want to throw it at the wall. I always want to snooze for about three more hours.
And sometimes, these crappy mornings are more frequent then I´d like to admit.
I´ve had a real struggle with them in the past. Drawing a series of conclusions:
- That I´m way too tired to wake up and I need to sleep longer to not ruin my entire day (or week).
- That I can´t always be this tired in the morning and that life is unfair.
- That I don´t really need to get up, or do I?
- That always sleeping till noon and going to bed late could be a good solution.
- And that when my alarm rings, I should get up immediately and be super productive.
The past couple of months, a few of those thoughts have changed.
First, I´ve grown sick of sleeping for too long and getting to bed late. I know for a fact that my days are ultimately better if I get up early, even though I feel tired when my alarm rings.
Second, I know it takes effort to turn my sleep schedule around, and that some days I will need to get up even though I am tired, and I still end up having a good day.
Third, that snoozing is the most horrible invention and it never ever makes me feel better.
And fourth, and the most important, that it is okay for my mornings to be slow. Before, I would have my alarm ring, and as I couldn´t bare getting up and doing all that stuff I needed to do, I picked up my phone and scrolled through social media and all kinds of unnecessary things for an hour before getting up.
Starting my days off like that, with an hour of useless information from my phone, was never good. Sometimes, it kept me on that same track for the whole day. Other times, it would make me super late to wherever I was going.
One day though, I tried something new. I woke up and hated everything (I actually find it quite interesting how grumpy I can be in the morning). I was angry at my alarm, I was angry at the darkness outside that made it difficult for me to wake up and I was angry at myself for going to sleep so late. And did I mention the horrible menstrual cramps that made these bad feelings double up?
So yes, a shitty day. The shittiest day I´d had in very long time.
And there and then I let go of those preconceptions. Of either snoozing (and feeling bad) or scrolling through social media for an hour (and feeling bad), as getting up was beyond my wildest dreams.
Instead, I did this. For a few minutes I got out of bed, to go to the toilet, get a glass of water and my computer.
Then, I went back to bed, snuggled under the covers, drank my water and opened my computer. Already, the day felt better.
Giving myself permission to move slowly felt better.
On my computer, I watched a video course I´ve wanted to watch for a long time and took notes in my journal. Then, I answered emails from some dear friends. And wrote a few articles. I stayed in bed till I felt okay.
And sometime past noon, I wrote a blog post. And then I got out of bed and did yoga.
And the rest of that day was actually pretty awesome. And very productive.
I achieved things that I couldn´t have dreamed of doing, based on how the day started.
To imagine that not getting up could feel so productive?
I know that had I chosen a different path, like to watch Netflix instead of writing articles and watching a video course, my whole experience would have been different. This is about finding that fine line, where you can move slowly, and at the same time, do something beneficial to you.
That one morning taught me so much. And right now, I´m doing the same thing. I “should” be doing yoga, instead of writing this. And yet, I knew that I needed a slower start to my morning. To sit down and write, to wake up, before starting my day in full power.
Sometimes, your days need to be started slowly. Sometimes, you can wake up early and then move slowly for a few hours, instead of sleeping in and then rushing to where you need to be.
I´ve learned to accept my feelings in the morning. To understand that sometimes I do feel tired and don´t want to wake up. And when I think about it, is there ever a morning I wouldn´t like to lay in bed for a few more hours? Because it´s very comfy!
I´ve also learned to simply be the way I am. To make the most of what I can do at that current moment. Accepting that getting out of bed right away is too much for me, and that I can make the most of my morning while staying in bed.
I´ve learned that live isn´t about being productive all of the time. It is also about caring for myself. Being kind. Learning. And accepting me for who I am, at any given time.
I´ve learned that when I start my days slowly, I tend to gain full energy and end up having a much better day than I would have, had I pushed myself to get up right away. Those couple of hours spent in bed triple in value when I get up, full of energy, and ready for an awesome day.
I´ve learned to move slowly. When needed.
I´ve learned to love myself, no matter how tired I am.
I´ve learned to wake up early and drag myself out of bed. And I´ve also learned to stay put, to wake up slowly, and to make the most of my morning in bed instead.
This one day, when I went against all that I believed about mornings and jumping out of bed has changed so much for me. And I encourage you to do the same.
Otherwise, you can never truly know what you can learn, when you allow yourself to stay in bed.