Q&A Wednesday

Q&A: How to figure out what you REALLY want

Hello & Happy Wednesday, Bad Yogis!

This particular question really hit home for me because I’ve been in a similar situation before.

It’s a question that could probably sound like one you’ve asked yourself a million times over if you replace a few words here and there.

This is the best advice I have about how to NOT get too caught up in others’ expectations of you and dig deep to figure out what YOU really want.

Over to you! Have you ever dealt with similar situations? What insights did you gain from the experience?

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  1. Avatar

    Charlotte Lattin-Rawstrone

    September 21, 2016 at 7:54 am

    Thanks Erin, this came at the PERFECT time for me. Not that I am teaching yoga but more about deciding what to do in life (and make the transition to do that!). I actually write a blog of my own (partly yoga-inspired) that totally covered this kind of thing this week. Must be in the air.

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    September 21, 2016 at 8:45 am

    Said perfectly. Society expects so much all or nothing! This was excellent to hear as I burned out of teaching HS, within 2 years, and quit. I am still figuring out my next step and yoga has been helping me through it a lot.

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    Stacey C

    September 21, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Thank you Erin! This hit home today. For a long time, I have been on a very intense career path in large part because I knew I could succeed. However, as I walked that road, I found my life lacked fulfillment. Recently, I have been blessed enough to stumble upon a more modest career path that brings me pure, unbridled joy! ….But my family, coworkers and friends find it difficult to support what they believe to be a step down. It has made the struggle to switch paths much more intimidating. Yet, just because I can do something does not mean that I should. You said to ask myself what makes me happy and I am 115% sure of the answer. Everybody else is just going to have to figure out how to get on board! Thank you again!

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      Erin Motz

      September 27, 2016 at 12:14 pm

      Ah yes, I LOVE THIS! Go get it!! <3

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    September 21, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Such a good topic for today. I am reading and listening to Big Magic right now. It has already motivated me to make some changes. I have been doing my line of work for about 15 years and I am really good at it. However my most current job incorporates what I love to do with what I also hate to do. It’s a very small business with no chance of my job description ever changing. I am not happy at all in my job. I am around a lot of negativity and I am also very contagious to other’s moods. So I just made the decision yesterday to follow my original career path. It took a lot of money and a huge leap of faith but I am doing it. Your words today just made me realize that much more that I am doing the right thing by doing what I want to do. Thank you so much!

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    September 21, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Thanks Erin! Great timing! I’m about to start my last year at university (well, last year of first “level” out two “levels”, I don’t know if there’s an English word for this πŸ˜‰ Sorry!)… I don’t know what I’ll do next. I don’t know if I want to work as chemist, I don’t know if I’m good enough, I don’t know if my heart is in it! I’m an awful decision maker and I know that in about 8 months I’ll have to make this decision. Decide if I want to keep studying on second “level”, if I want to start studying something new or start doing something completely different! I know that 8 months is a lot but I’m a huge worrier!

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    September 21, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Awesome topic and great advice, Erin. Thank you!

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    September 22, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Thank you for this Erin… weirdly it REALLY resonates with me right now. I have just started teaching Yoga, only 2 hours a week, but I am struggling. I started doing it because I am certified, and because I need cash… but it’s so hard for me to do. Every day before the class, I get depressed, I can’t sleep well… it’s not pretty. I did the Teacher Training to find a fix to an injury, and to explore a different lifestyle, but not to teach. I like Yoga as my thing, my daily stretch… but now that I am teaching it, I’m not even practising anymore πŸ™ I’m beginning to resent it.
    I had a long chat with my therapist today and she advises to make the class “mine”, to not compromise on who I am, and to not care about what others think… but it goes further than that, and I don’t think that even she understood how bad I feel. I can’t quit, I can’t give it up, I need the cash. I have tried over again to get a job at writing, which is what I love to do, I approach agents with books that I have finished, but no luck.
    Anyway, I wanted to say that you made me feel a little bit better, and I want to thank you for that.

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      Erin Motz

      September 27, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      I 100% understand that feeling. Try adding or changing up your music or playing with funky new sequences. Try to keep it fresh and use your planning time as play time for your own practice. It takes some time to find a balance, but it’s possible! Also, try not to demo every single class! That’ll wear you out really quickly, too!

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    September 24, 2016 at 11:50 am

    Thanks for this Erin! I agree about society and it’s crazy expectations. I received some advice a few years ago that has stuck with me. At the time I was debating about leaving a job that wasn’t serving me anymore. This advice was a bit of a slap upside the head but it was exactly what I needed to hear. It goes something like this…
    If you are doing something just because you feel like you have to, and your heart really isn’t in it, stop. All you’re doing is taking up a spot in the world, not adding to it. And there might be someone out there who is dying to fill that spot and would bring their whole heart to it, but they can’t because you’re in the way. Step away, move aside, let someone else thrive in that position, and look inside yourself for what you want and need. Then go out and find your own wholehearted spot to fill that will make YOU and you alone happy. πŸ™‚

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    Devens William

    September 25, 2016 at 7:36 am

    Thank you so much for such a useful information. i am regular reader of your blogs, i learn lot of things from this.


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      Erin Motz

      September 27, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      thank you, devens!

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    January 4, 2017 at 5:39 am

    Just stumbled upon this on YouTube, and thank you so much for this, as this is the one thing I always struggle with and have thought about for years.

    One of my top tips for finding out what you really want may seem backwards, but I always find that when I’m jealous of someone, it’s because they have (or seem to have) what I really desire. I never am jealous of people who have big houses, for instance, because I love living in a flat, or of yoga teachers because I’m fully satisfied with being a (terrible) student. However, whenever a friend tells me she’s pregnant (this has happened a lot when you’re 36…), it’s always gut-wrenching. If you think of it as not being happy for the other person, it’s a terrible and shameful feeling, but if you realise that your gut is really telling you what to go after, you can turn it into something quite powerful.

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