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It Has To Stop: Women Judging Other Women

Women judging women. It happens every day! We live in a world today where there is constant judgement, and we as women tend to judge each other by everything from pant size to the clothes we are wearing to the color of our hair. You know you can’t deny doing it. We all have—we’re human! But what if we changed that? What would our world be like? What would happen if we started building one another up, empowering each other, helping one another feel assured and worthy? When that moment happens, we will start to look in the mirror and not see the flaws but the confident and beautiful women we truly are!

I began my health and fitness journey almost 3 years ago… and honestly it was more about OTHERS’ thoughts of me than it was about my own. I had ALWAYS been small in high school, but when I went off to college things changed. I ended up gaining about 50 lbs. It got to a point where I began to push the people I loved most in my life away, and I began making excuses of why I couldn’t do things with my friends and family. I woke up one day and said enough was enough, I needed to make a change in my life…

I hired a personal trainer and the first thing she asked me was, “Why are you wanting to do lose this weight?” My response was, “I have my 5-year high school reunion coming up in 4 months, and I don’t want to be that girl that gets judged for gaining all this weight.”

I look back now and it makes me sad that instead of wanting to do this for myself, I started my journey because I cared so much about what other people were going to think! I thought if I was “smaller or skinnier” those judgments would disappear.

I was wrong. I started getting judged for wanting to change! I constantly got comments from people about my weight loss (some told me that I was getting too thin, that I was becoming too obsessed with working out, that they missed the “fun” me—which meant they missed the girl who would get black out drunk to try and hide the pain she was in).

NOTHING I was doing was good enough. But instead of letting those comments bring me down—instead of giving in to what others wanted or thought—I stood my ground and refused to give up on my goals.

I’ve learned A LOT over the last 2 ½ years, but what has really stood out to me most is the judgment never ends! I am now helping others do the same thing I did. I am an online health and fitness coach running monthly support/accountability groups because I want to help women learn their true worth. I want to be the support that people need along their journeys. I want to help them accomplish their goals in a NO-JUDGEMENT space! I’ve chosen to surround myself with people who BUILD ME UP, not tear me down, and I think that is KEY to getting success in your weight loss/fitness journey.

Although I am surrounded by such positivity and support in this community, the judgments sneak on in.


I posted this picture the other day on my health and fitness page and received a message from a RANDOM stranger telling me, “Your arms look manly,” and that I “need to stop lifting weights.” Y’all… this was a COMPLETE STRANGER who doesn’t even know me taking time out of her life to try and put me down!

I actually laughed at the comment because for the first time in my life, I feel STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, AND CONFIDENT… and I don’t need approval from someone else to know that. What surprised me even more happened when I shared my story on my Facebook page. I had hundreds of women reach out who DO support me, who wanted to let me know to keep on lifting, who took time out of their day to LIFT ME UP! I know first-hand that making the decision to start your health and fitness journey can be hard… Especially when you don’t have the support from those around you. There are people out there who WILL support you, who WILL encourage you to go after those goals you’ve always wanted, who WILL not let you give up on yourself. You just have to find them because I promise you, once you do… YOUR LIFE WILL FOREVER BE CHANGED!

How about you? How do you bring positivity into your own and others’ lives

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    Nicole F.

    February 6, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    And here I was thinking your arms look awesome and strong! Thanks for the inspirational post.

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    February 8, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Love it! My first & only reaction was…she really transformed…what an inspiration to me & others!

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    February 8, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    I would loooooove to have your arms! Keep on keeping on! You’re beautiful!

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    February 8, 2016 at 7:13 pm

    I feel women as a whole are so hard on each other and themselves. We need to spend more time lifting each other up. thanks for the reminder!!!

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    February 15, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    Loved this article!

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    October 23, 2019 at 6:15 am

    I can’t help noticing how easy it is for women to make judgements when they’re on the outside looking in. One newspaper article I read recently was written by a female journalist who basically decided to trash Meghan, the duchess of Sussex, for daring to complain about the press scrutiny she has had to endure since becoming a royal. “She should just be grateful she is living a privileged life” was one catty comment. Yes, well, Princess Diana lived a privileged life and paid a very dear price for it. One thing I know for sure about the royal family: I wouldn’t want to be one of them for quids. Those who have only ever experienced royalty, wealth and privilege from the outside should consider themselves fortunate. Chances are they might have a chance of living a long and healthy life.

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