At one time or another we all find ourselves in a rut; it’s like we’re walking through quicksand. Life has lost all its color, nothing feels exciting, and you start questioning your path. You’ve fallen into a black hole that you can’t seem to climb out of. Stuffing your face at a buffet doesn’t work. Drinking yourself into a stumbling stupor only works for a few hours. Zoning out on Instagram just leaves you feeling bad about yourself.
What can you do when life feels so completely dull? It depends what kind of rut you’re in, and the answers you have to some tough questions.
General Life rut
Are you doing the same routine every single day?
You may be on autopilot. Schedule at least one new activity you’ve never done before (drumming lessons, Italian language study, rock climbing) and make it a habit once a week.
Do you have nothing to look forward to?
Do something bigger, like scheduling a trip (even a day trip), or plan something easier at home, like a spa night. You can’t have anything to look forward to if you don’t plan it.
Are You jealous of other people?
If you find yourself scrolling social media every morning first thing, stop that first. Write down what it is that makes you feel jealous of other people and see if you can use this as inspiration. If other people are doing what you want or have something you want, this should be your GPS; follow that direction.
Have you been in the same position too long?
It’s time to talk to your boss about a promotion, or consider another place you
might enjoy working
Are you no longer motivated?
According to the 2017 Gallup State of the American Workplace Report, 70% of people felt emotionally disconnected at the office.
Ask yourself why you’re working in the profession or company you’ve chosen. If you can’t come up with at least 3 concrete reasons, it may be time to re-evaluate.
Are you really sure of what you want?
If you can’t decide what you want and where you’re going, you have no purpose, or goals, and this leads to stagnation. Matt Mayberry wrote an article for entrepreneur.com, and said: “A surefire way to stay exactly where you are is to do nothing, which is what a great majority of the population does.”
Do you hate Mondays?
If you’re pulling yourself out of bed and the thought of going to work fills you with dread, you’re not fulfilling your life purpose. What would you truly love to do?
Is there constant conflict?
There is no better time than now to work on your communication. For example, try using “I” statements, and avoiding the use of the words “always” and “never.”
Is there not enough sex/affection?
For now, start scheduling sex (no, this does not kill passion), and stick to it even when you don’t feel like it.
Is there a lack of romance?
Read about the Five Love Languages to get an idea of what you both need from each other
Do you dread spending time together?
Schedule in some ME time, or take a trip by yourself. Giving each other space will either make you realize you miss your partner, or you will realize it’s time to move on.
When life becomes flat and stagnant, it’s because we haven’t been paying enough attention and we’re coasting. Asking yourself the right questions and taking real action will bring you from drifting in the sea on a broken boat to navigating the sea of life with intention.