Yoga is for Lovers

4 Reasons To Enjoy Yourself Alone Now

Lately I’ve been coming across articles about the art of being alone. It seems to be the new thing, way to enlightenment, even though many of us have been artfully alone for a long time. Not to diminish the fact humans are social beings — some people need to be around others a lot. But I’m going to share my experience of being alone, and why it’s awesome.

I’m not sure when I realized that I enjoy doing things on my own, for myself. All I know is that there seems to be this…adverse reaction whenever I tell people that I do things alone. For example, when, I joke about being a professional third wheeler, it usually invokes the reaction of “aw, that’s so sad.” With my personality, sometimes it’s hard for others to tell when I’m joking. But it got me thinking…is it really that sad to be alone? Maybe I am sad and just in denial?!

Maybe because I’m an introvert? Perhaps my parents over-drilled the idea of independence in my head. Maybe I’ve been single for too long? Maybe I’m just too reserved? Perhaps I just don’t want to deal with people 90% of the time, given that may profession requires human interaction 40+ hours a week. Maybe because I moved myself 900+ miles away from family, and here I am, doing life by myself most of the time.

All of the above may be true, but as time passed, I realized how much I truly enjoy being me with just me. Doing things I enjoy by myself, without anyone questioning why I do the things I do. Here are four reasons for you to try to be alone more often, and actually enjoy it!

You learn what freedom is like.

Like I said, being able to do things you enjoy by yourself is just awesome. You don’t have to be on anyone’s restrictions, schedules, whatsoever. Want to just stay in and Netflix all day? Cool. Want to do something totally spontaneous, go from one place to another without waiting on anybody? Go for it. You are in total charge on how you want your day(s) to play out!

You become a bit more gutsy.

Again, I can’t pinpoint a time where I started getting more and more comfortable with trying new and uncomfortable things. Moving 900+ miles away from my family may have contributed to what some of my friends call “bravery.” I often hear comments like “Oh, I stepped out of my comfort zone by doing this new small thing all by myself.” Which, I have to be mindful of not judging because my idea of discomfort zone is probably very different from the next person. But trying new things by yourself opens up worlds for you to try many other things – from going to new restaurants, new activities, and eventually new cities and even countries!

You learn happiness depends on you.

Society in general seem to spread this idea that you can’t be happy unless you’re with someone/in a relationship/have a ring from Jared’s/have a big fat Greek wedding/etc. I understand that humans are social beings and that we need to, well, socialize and connect. But if we’re bouncing from one different friendship or romantic partners to another faster than we can change clothes, when would we ever find the time for self-exploration and truly be happy with ourselves?

And hopefully, you get to know your self-worth and learn to love yourself.

I’m not knocking on people who constantly need to be in close relationships or proximity with others. Being around the right crowd can lift you up along your life path. But there is something special when you do things alone.  You get a sense of accomplishment, you learn about your self, and most importantly, you learn about your self-worth. You learn that love begins with you and that in order to have meaningful friendships and relationships, you need to learn to love yourself, too. Being alone will almost force you to learn the nooks and crannies of your soul, and that is something no one else would be able to do for you.

Yogis, what do you think? Do you love your alone time or are you all about being around other folks? Tell us in the comments!

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5 Comments

  1. Amanda Sides

    Amanda Sides

    January 17, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    I love this! I find a lot of joy in spending time alone. Not only that, but it has made me more confident and courageous. Traveling alone, in particular, made me realize how much I enjoy my own company and getting to choose exactly what it is I want to do. I’m in a long-term relationship, but before this (and the one before) I was single for a long stretch of time, and that, too, was powerful. It taught me to ask MYSELF what I wanted. I love meeting new people (and traveling alone is good for that, too!) and hanging out with friends, but I think I’ll always seek opportunities to do things by myself, as well.

  2. Michael Templeton

    Michael Templeton

    January 25, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    Thank you for writing this, it is so refreshing to read something that doesn’t ostracize people who are already alone. I hope you find happiness in life through whichever path you may take.
    Namaste friend

  3. Pála Margrét

    Pála Margrét

    January 25, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    This article is like written for me! I have always needed to be alone, and I know that if I start feeling a little bit crazy, it is most often because I haven´t given myself time to be alone. That you are maybe sad and just in denial I find so funny! Because it is true for me too, haha, like the sentence “Not sure if I´m single because I want to or because I do to much yoga”, haha 😉 So I will continue to preach for solitude, to learning to be alone, because it is so important. I am just about to celebrate my two years alone (this word is so stigmatized, makes it sound like I am so lonely when writing this…) and I couldn´t have imagined how much I would grow in that time. To all the single ladies!! And yes, the third wheel is very important, it is there to stabilize the other two 😀

  4. Avatar

    Meghan

    February 6, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    Donna, thank you for letting us in! I’m seriously struggling with feeling alone in this period of my life. My friends and I have moved to separate coasts and keeping in contact with them and proven to be hard. Life is sure a struggle and the feeling of loneliness creeps up in the worst possible times. You’re positivity and realization of freedom and self responsibility for your happiness hits me to the core. Being outgoing IS the hardest part. I’m a serious introvert and letting myself be vulnerable like that is extremely difficult. You’re an inspiration to people like me to get out of our comfort zone to make friends and do fun things. I’m so inspired I’ll be writing a blog post about figuring my life out when I feel alone (–> https://meghanmehungry.wordpress.com/)… coming in the next week!

    Again, thank you for being open and optimistic. You inspire us!

    Cheers!

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